I didn't know my own strength

I would like to thank (inspiring4u.tumblr.com) for this brilliant quote.

Last year September 21st 2014, I lost my wonderful husband of 10 years to DVT. It was totally unexpected and life-changing all at the same time. I thought my world had reluctantly come to a horrific conclusion. I kept saying to myself "Why Me? Am I not a decent, hard-working, compassionate individual who always manages to see the good in people even though there are many times when I haven't got much to work with? How come this happened to me? I know that my late husband, James Winchester didn't want to go, I certainly didn't want him to go and our seven year old son, Tyler most definitely didn't want him to go, so why then was he snatched from us in such a crude and abrupt fashion? The truth kept coming back as, why not me? Being a good person doesn't exempt you from personal tragedy. In fact I would go so far as to say that often being that way invariably exacerbates the problem because you're like an easy target.

In those six months since his passing I have had to grow up very quickly in areas then I assumed I'd never need to: I have had to get a grip on my finances, deal with tenants, be mummy and daddy to my son, handle individuals who at best can only be described as 'soul-less', pay bills on time, deal with work men taking the 'p' because I am a woman, do the school-run all on my own, try to balance being a mum, with a career, running a household and try to cope with a few businesses all at the same time. At times I would be lying if I didn't admit that I thought James had been given the easy option.

However, I am not the type of person to give in easily and I am proud of the way my son and I are handling this devastating hand we've been dealt. I have learned that actually I am a very strong individual who is no longer intimidated by anything toxic that the world chooses to throw at me. To begin the process of healing I have had to remove any trace of ego I have ever had and start from scratch, but what has come back to me is that now I know who I am so that if anyone dares to question my abilities as a mother, a singer, a songwriter, a blogger, an entrepreneur, a business woman or someone lacking in intelligence, I laugh in their face and remind them that I dance to my own tune now and no one else's. I see setbacks as feedback now. There is always a lesson to learn or a new direction to take when tough challenges come your way and the quicker you get what that lesson is the quicker you will grow into the person you always knew you should become.

In one of Whitney Houston's songs she admits, 'I didn't know my own strength'; well neither did I girlfriend, but I certainly do now!